Aminet 21/Aminet 21 (1997)(GTI - Schatztruhe)[!][Oct 1997].iso/Aminet/comm/cnet/supertg4.lha/Toons

Text File | 1997-06-23 | 32KB | 585 lines

"...Another bad guy with his hair pulled into a ponytail."
"7+3." - Calvin "73." - Hobbes
"A red spaceship on the monitor, your vileness." -- Calvin
"A whole boiled egg! Two years of night school finally paid off."
"Aachoo!" "Gesundheit!" - Calvin and Hobbes (and several monsters)
"Ack! Phfft! Thptpth!" -Bill
"AGH! A SNOW SNAKE'S GOT ME!" -- Calvin
"Ahhh, another bowl of chocolate frosted sugar bombs." - Calvin
"All my real skills are undervalued." - Calvin
"And before I got to third grade, I could retire." - Calvin
"And do you know what's inside?  A priiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiize!" --Stimpy
"And when you add them, they magically become one new number."
"And yet...somehow...life goes on." - Calvin's father
"Another casualty of applied metaphysics." - Hobbes
"Another casualty of the seduction of art." - Hobbes
"Another trenchant comment by a jealous lesser intellect" - Calvin
"Are there any side effects to these pills apart from bankruptcy?"
"Are they playing overtime? You must be absolutely exhausted."
"As a math atheist, I believe I should be excused from this."
"As far as I'm concerned, the ends justify the means." - Calvin
"As I, the maniacal tyrant, look down upon my pathetic subjects"-Calvin
"As soon as we got married I realized 2 can live as cheaply as 6."
"At this moment, I like my anonymity." - Hobbes
"Aw mom, you act like I'm not even wearing a bunji cord!"
"Aw, Mom, you act like I'm not even wearing a bungee cord!" -Calvin
"Awright, hold it...where's the mutant repellant?" -Steve
"Backups are for wussies!" -Oliver Wendell Jones
"Bad news, Dad. Your polls are way down." - Calvin
"Bad news, Mom. I sold my soul to the devil." - Calvin
"Being with you, it's just one epiphany after another" - Hobbes
"Blow the horn!  Make everyone get out of our way!" - Calvin
"Boy! I feel like the Democratic Party!" -Opus
"Boy, there's nothing worse than an inscrutable omen." - Calvin
"But mom, frogs are our *friends*!" -- Calvin
"By Golly, I won't stand for this insubordination!" - Calvin
"By the time we saved enough for a honeymoon, we didn't want one."
"C'mon everybody, let's have a hoedown!"  --Stimpy
"Calvin arriving in turbo chute 4. Clear receiving pad."
"Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman."
"Can I kiss one of the bridesmaids instead?"
"Can I take an ax to school tomorrow for, um, Show and Tell?"
"Can I take some logs up to my room?" - Calvin
"Can the police give you a speeding ticket in a car wash?"
"Chew electronic death, you snarling cur!" - Calvin
"Childhood is for spoiling adulthood." - Calvin
"Childhood is short and maturity is forever." - Calvin
"Childhood is so disillusioning." - Calvin
"Come along, my little booboochitos." -Opus
"Cut the cards, varmint." <WHOCK!> "OOH! That ain't whut ah meant!"
"Dabbling in a bit of ironic foreshadowing, are we?" -Milo
"Dad! Dad! Where do you keep your guns?" -- Calvin
"Dad, I need a note for school tomorrow...preferably a $10 bill."
"Days like these let you savor a bad mood." - Calvin
"Days like this don't let you savour a bad mood." -Calvin
"Do I look stupid? Of course you can marry my daughter."
"Do you have to keep tapping like that?  You bloated sack of protoplasm!"
"Do you recognize this pan as the one your wife used?"
"Do you think God lets you plea bargain?" - Calvin
"Don't be so dysfunctional, mom." - Calvin
"Don't blame the cat. What would you do if someone sat on you?"
"Don't keep saying 'I do'! You're the best man."
"Don't sell the bike shop, Orville." -- Hobbes
"Don't tell me what it is until I've eaten it."
"Don't we even get a few practice semesters?" - Calvin
"Don't you hate it when your boogers freeze?" - Calvin
"Eat feathers, fuzzball!" -- Calvin
"Ehh ... we've *evolved*." --Ren
"Either you buy me a bike or I'll get myself adopted."
"Even my *friends* don't do what I want." - Calvin
"Ever breathe oxygen kid? Good, don't start.  Me, I'm hooked. Get it?" -Muddy
"Every time I've built character, I've regretted it." - Calvin
"Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship." - Calvin
"Everything's gotta have rules, rules, rules!" - Calvin
"Eww! He's giving himself two weird heads!" -- Calvin
"Existence is not only temporary, its pointless." - Calvin
"Fate just isn't what is used to be." - Hobbes
"Four blocks north. If it's not there, eight blocks south."
"Gee, dad. I wish you'd let mom drive, it's more exciting."
"Girls are so weird." - Calvin
"Girls have more delicate heinies." - Susie Derkins
"Give the ticket to my husband. He taught me to drive."
"Go ahead! I'll only bleed all over your new rug."
"Happy happy happy ... peel peel peel." --Stimpy
"Have you got a smoke alarm I can switch off while I'm cooking?"
"He can't come to the phone. He's busy watching television."
"He looks good ... mighty good!"  --Mr. Horse
"He talks to *farts*, man!"  --Magic Nose Goblin
"Heeey ... this is PRIVATE!"  --Stimpy
"Here we go! Step one: Take off your shirt."
"Here's my bill. That should stop you from smoking for a few months."
"Heresy signifies no more than private opinion." - Hobbes
"Hey Dad, remember our car?" -- Calvin
"Hey kids, start jumping up and down like idiots!" --The Log Promo
"Hey you, YAK!  Where's your tag?" -Ren
"Hmm... How *did* they finally kill Frosty?" -- Hobbes
"Hobbes did it, Mom!" -- Calvin
"Homework is bad for my self-esteem." - Calvin
"Hop in the time machine, Hobbes!" - Calvin
"How do you expect me to average 55 miles an hour if I don't speed?"
"How far can I send this cat for $30?"
"How good do you have to be to qualify as good?" - Calvin
"How's he feeling? I badly need a pair of kidneys."
"I achieve a lower consciousness." - Calvin
"I always leave the room when the talk gets philosophical." - Calvin
"I am the cat that somebody let out of the bag!" -Darkwing Duck
"I am the culmination of creation." - Calvin
"I am the itch you cannot reach!" -Darkwing Duck
"I am the weed-whacker in the garden of evil!" -Darkwing Duck
"I am the weirdo who sits next to you on the bus!" -Darkwing Duck
"I am the wrong number that wakes you at 3:00am!" -Darkwing Duck
"I can almost feel my neural transmitters shutting down" - Calvin
"I can't bring the car back until low tide."
"I can't eat fast food so I eat turtles."
"I can't understand it! He just burst in and shot my violin."
"I decided to take a personal interest in your career. You're fired."
"I don't think math is a science. I think it's a religion." - Calvin
"I don't want a son-in-law who's stupid enough to marry my daughter."
"I don't want to pay any dues in life." - Calvin
"I don't want to watch anything that has a moral." - Calvin
"I got 6 percent in math. Is that good or bad?"
"I got the car in the garage, but I had to go through the kitchen."
"I guess that got pretty pathetic." - Calvin
"I just have a command of thoroughly useless information" - Calvin
"I know the runny green stuff's potato. What's the black gravel?"
"I let my mind wander and it didn't come back" - Calvin
"I like maxim's that don't encourage behavior modification."
"I like my chairs pre-warmed" - Hobbes
"I like to be rested when things start to happen." - Hobbes
"I need a pair of dancing shoes with steel-toe caps."
"I need a stunt double!" - Calvin
"I need solid professional help...Donahue, Oprah, Geraldo..." -Opus
"I need to work on my salesmanship." - Calvin
"I never get to do anything fun." - Calvin
"I prefer to have life filtered through television." - Calvin
"I regret I wasn't born with opposable toes." - Calvin
"I say just punch him then and there." - Calvin
"I see that I've brushed my teeth with 'Preparation H'." -Opus
"I smell something steeeenky!"  --Nerve ending fairy
"I taught him everything I know and he's still stupid."
"I think it's good that everyone becomes food." - Hobbes
"I think my cerebellum just fused!" - Calvin
"I think that would affect my stomach more than my heart."
"I thought fun was supposed to be FUN." - Hobbes
"I told her to expect you to deny everything." - Calvin
"I used to have a dog, but he wouldn't eat my wife's leftovers."
"I usually leave an extra $10 in my pocket for her birthday."
"I want the world handed to me on a silver platter." - Calvin
"I was practicing my karate and she hit me with half a brick."
"I wish *I* was a tiger." "A common lament."
"I wish I had more enemies." - Calvin
"I wish my shirt had a logo or a product on it." - Calvin
"I wonder what ever happened to the 'Melting Pot'?" - Hobbes
"I'd explain it, but there's a lot of math." - Calvin
"I'd let you talk more, but you're not as interesting as me."
"I'll serve your dinner as soon as the smoke clears."
"I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs!"  --Stinky Wizzleteats
"I'm a professional snoop." - Calvin
"I'm a simple man with complex tastes." - Calvin
"I'm fine just the way I am! Why should *I* change?" - Calvin
"I'm getting indigestion just looking at this."
"I'm giving him 15 more minutes to remember it's my birthday."
"I'm going on vacation tomorrow, so I'm giving you 14 newspapers."
"I'm going to leave before you start attracting flies" - Hobbes
"I'm gonna be a monkey, monkey monkey muuuunkey!" --Stimpy
"I'm gonna hit ya ... and you're gonna faaaaaall." --Ren
"I'm just very selective about the reality I accept." - Calvin
"I'm not angry... just terribly, terribly hurt." -- The Martian
"I'm not break-dancing! I hit my hand!"
"I'm not late. I was giving you a little 'wait training'."
"I'm off to meet my doom, Mom. See you after school." - Calvin
"I'm related to people I don't relate to." - Calvin
"I'm so bad I get a government grant not to paint anything."
"I'm sure they can track the Bee on radar." - Calvin Aug 1993
"I'm the dishwasher out back. Hide my tip in the gravy."
"I've changed my mind Hobbes. People ARE scum." - Calvin.
"I've concluded that nothing bad I do is my fault." - Calvin
"I've got to avoid stress" "Don't look in the mirror".
"I've had it up to HERE with the likes of you people!" --Fire Chief
"I've known fellers like that." --Fire Chief
"I've studied your case and I think your best bet is a tunnel."
"If I could reach you, I would hurt you, Pinky" -- The Brain
"If I didn't love I wouldn't this, would I?"
"If I give myself up, do I get the reward?"
"If Jiminy Cricket were here, I'd skoosh him." - Calvin
"If people could put rainbows in zoos, they'd do it." -- Hobbes
"If the house was on fire, who would you save first, me or the cat?"
"If you can spare five seconds, I'd like to do a brain scan."
"If you can't win by reason, go for volume." - Calvin
"If you find a pork chop in your soup, it belongs to table nine."
"If you get straight A's at school I'll buy you a machine gun."
"If you have to sneeze, do it during the lunchbreak."
"If you order the chili, I need to know your next of kin."
"If you want instant coffee, you'll have to wait!"
"If you want to see something 'real cheap', take a look in the mirror."
"Imaginary Numbers... Like Eleventeen and Thirty-Twelve."
"In my book, food should be nutrition and entertainment." - Calvin
"Instantly, Powdered Toast Man ... ASSESSES the situation!" --Announcer
"Is he allowed a plea of insanity for a parking ticket?"
"Is it OK if I eat while you're smoking?"
"Is that your idea of excercise - buying a book on jogging?"
"Is there such a thing as a bathroom scale with shock absorbers?"
"Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor?"-Calvin
"It comes with three vegetables: two peas and a carrot."
"It must be depressing to go through life with no purpose" - Calvin
"It must be sad being a species with so little imagination." - Calvin
"It takes one to Know one Mr. Tapioca-head" - Hobbes
"It's a loathsome bat-webbed booger being." -- Calvin
"It's a lot more fun to blame things than to fix them" - Calvin
"It's not as if lives hang in the balance, right?" - Calvin
"It's not my fault you're stupid."
"It's not that I *mind* being chained in the basement..." -Calvin
"It's Psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw." - Calvin
"It's sad how some people can't handle a little variety." - Calvin
"It's too much work! It's boring! It's slow!" - Calvin
"It's true, Hobbes, ignorance IS bliss." - Calvin
"Keep in mind transmogrification is new technology." - Calvin
"Lemme Go!  Lemme Go!  I'm hurting!" -- Ren Hoek
"Let's see them figure *that* one out!" - Hobbes
"Life doesn't get much better than this." - Calvin
"Life is so, so sweet." - Calvin <EG>
"Life just dished up some spam." -Opus
"Live and don't learn, that's us." - Hobbes
"Look! A thermos full of phlegm!" - Calvin
"Look! Velveeta sticks to the ceiling!" -Opus
"Luckily, our honeymoon suite had a TV in the bedroom."
"Maaaybe something good, maaaybe something bad ... we don't know!" --Ren
"Mainstream commercial nihilism can't be trusted?" - Calvin
"Marriage is give and take. I eat your cooking so you do the dishes."
"Marvy.  Fab.  Far out." - Calvin's Father
"Maurice, love is not blind enough to allow me to ignore that tie."
"Maybe I'm new wave" "Maybe you're just stupid" Calvin and Hobbes
"Maybe you guys need to drink more beer." - Calvin
"Members of the jury, have you reached the verdict on this crook?"
"Members of the jury, I must ask you to disregard my last remark."
"MISS WORMWOOD!" - Susie Derkins
"Mom, I sneezed and blew my head off!" -- Calvin
"Mom, was I ever a grub?" -- Calvin
"Momma always liked you best!!! --Ren Hoek to Stimpy, "The Baby Scam"
"Moms and reason are like oil and water." - Calvin
"Monopoly is more fun when you make your own chance cards."
"Most people just muddle through their lives." - Calvin
"Mothers are the necessity of invention." - Calvin
"Mr. Sinatra, hold. Mr. Redford, hold. Me." - Dot
"My dog loves people. But mostly he gets canned dog food."
"My likely historical significance is a terrible burden." - Calvin
"My only flaw is pretenatural intolerance of pesky kids."-Calvin's Father
"My penitent sinner shtick needs work." - Calvin
"My personal computer just told me to mind my own business."
"My upbringing is filled with inconsistent messages." - Calvin
"My wife's the opposite of 'anorexic'."
"My work deserves public support!" - Calvin
"Never mind, I've got my head on straight after all." - Calvin
"No one understands my work." - Calvin
"No sir, I don't like it." --Mr. Horse
"Note how the smooth butt adds a regal appearance to your showdog."
"Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around." - Calvin
"Nothing like a little virus to take the edge off a kid." - Calvin's doc
"Now give me *another* five cents and let's see what I have!" -Calvin
"Now I see from whence the stench came." --Ren
"Now I'm here, and history is vindicated." - Calvin
"Now, where were we..? Ah, yes--ABJECT HUMILIATION!" -Jafar
"Of all the luck, my parents had to be human." - Calvin
"Of course it's half eaten. You said you wanted the chef's salad."
"Oh my beloved ice cream bar ... how I love to lick your creamy center!" --R
"Oh no!  My favorite couch!  My favorite TV!  My favorite friend!" --Ren
"Oh no--- I know what you want--- You coveteth my ice cream bar!" -Ren
"Oh what the heck. I'll do it." - Calvin
"Oh! I'm sorry. I thought you were circus midgets." --Fire Chief
"Oh, great! I give you $50 for your birthday and you spend $5000."
"Oh, we have a WONDERFUL anxiety of yours tonight, Binkley!"
"Oh, you like this game, huh?  Do you reeeeeeeeeealy like it?" --Ren
"OK! I'll make the coffee. Where d'you get the water from?"
"On behalf of all earthly life, I DEFY YOU!" - Calvin
"Ooooohhhh!  I hates rabbits." -- Yosemite Sam
"Our brochure says 'safe beach'. You must have gone into the water."
"OUR FEARLESS HERO ESCAPES!!!" - Spaceman Spiff
"Our hero scrambles into his waiting spacecraft..." - Spaceman Spiff
"Our marriage was built on mutual trust and a lot of acting ability."
"Outta my way, Twinky" - Moe the bully
"Pass me an issue of Captain Napalm, will you?" -- Hobbes
"People just don't know a great idea when they hear one" - Calvin
"Personally, I'm rooting for the eye creatures." -- Calvin
"Pillage pillage pillage ... loot loot loot!"  --Stimpy
"Please tell me I'm adopted." - Calvin
"Pop, the cat's gone bald." "Good, so has your mother." -Milo & Dad
"Psst!  Hey kid, wake up!" - Monster under Calvin's bed
"Put down that comic book and do our homework!" - Calvin 1 & Calvin 2
"QUIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTT!!!" - Bugs Bunny
"Rats. I can't tell my gum from my silly putty." - Calvin
"Recruits Ren and Stimpy please report to tear gas training ... DUH ..."
"Right now we're doing something called 'civil disobedience.'" -Steve
"Run for your life!  There's a million angry hornets coming!" - Calvin
"Say your prayers, varmint!" -- Yosemite Sam
"See how I LOVE to clean FEEEELTHY CATBOXES!!!!" --Ren
"See this button?  It's the history eradicator button." --Ren
"See?!? I'm the cat!" -Ren
"Shakespeare, did your father help you with this homework?"
"She tries to watch what she eats but her eyes aren't quick enough."
"She was a headache, but viva l'amour!" -- Pepe LePew
"She's been trying to lower inflation with my credit card."
"SHOOT HIM NOW!  SHOOT HIM NOW!" -- Daffy Duck
"Shut up and go get me some antiseptic." - Calvin
"Shut up, Wilbur, and load the Photon torpedoes."
"Silly me.  I had a whole pocketful of change all along! How ironic!"
"Slow down at the next red light. I wanna jump out!"
"So who else do I add to my list of total jerks" - Calvin
"Some of us live in perpetual 20-20 chaos." -Opus
"Some things don't need the thought people give them." - Calvin
"Somehow I imagined this experience would be more rewarding."
"Someone broke in while we were asleep. They left $10."
"Someone put Cheez Whiz in my shorts." -Opus
"Something's awfuwwy SCWEWWY here..." -- Elmer
"Sometimes, if you wait, he'll top himself." - Hobbes
"Sorry about the two scars. We had your X-ray upside down."
"Sorry I left during your sermon. I was sleepwalking."
"Sorry, pal, you can't come in here with a tie."
"Squeak.  Squeak, I tell you, SQUEAK!"  --Ren
"Stimpy!  Move your butt!  It's a higher mammal!" -Ren
"Stinky is not a fantasy, he IS real.  And I will find him!"  --Stimpy
"Suffice to say, I cannot add, so ask some other kid." -- Calvin
"Super Hereos wear snow pants?" "When there's snow out they do."
"Susie, don't move, OK?  Stay exactly where you are..." - Calvin
"TA DA DA DAAAAA!  I'M STUPENDOUS MAN!  KAPWINNNGGG!" - Stupendous Man
"Take that back! It tastes like the stuff my wife makes."
"Take your time. The plane doesn't leave for 3 minutes."
"Taxi! How much to the airport if I drive?"
"Th-th-th-that's all, folks!" -- Porky Pig
"THANK YOU FOR NOT SMOKING! Hahahaha!" -Opus
"That darn bicycle tried to kill me!" -- Calvin
"That was either Superman or dad falling off the roof."
"That's a lot more mature than I think I care to be." - Calvin
"That's me." *OOF* "The human slinky." -- Calvin
"That's nice. You show up and all the gorillas run inside."
"The creature appears hostile!" - Calvin to a moderator
"The days are just PACKED!" - Calvin
"The early bird gets the worm" "Big incentive" - Calvin and his mom
"The earthling has stolen the space modulator!" -- The Martian
"The fearless Spaceman Spiff sets off to explore a new planet!"
"The house next door is on fire. D'you wanna watch?"
"The kitchen's on fire again."
"The little gray bits are non-stick frying pan."
"The newspapers couldn't print it if it weren't true." - Calvin
"The oil tanker crashed, mom."-- Calvin
"The police towed away the car, so I bought another one."
"The problem with people is that they're only human." Hobbes
"The recipe says a pinch of spice. I thought it said a 'pound'."
"The universe has an attitude, mom." - Calvin
"The X-Men didn't come here to perpetuate the slaughter..."
"There isn't an ounce of imagination in the whole bunch." - Calvin
"There MUST be a way to cram more violence into 90 minutes." - Calvin
"There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering Kaboom!"-The Martian
"There! Now we're both transmogrified! We're even!" -- Calvin
"There's a 200-foor monster and he tells her to bolt the door."
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.": Calvin
"THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS WALRUS WAFERS!!" "Well, there SHOULD be!"
"There's nothing on TV. D'you want to have an argument?"
"They don't realize I'm a card-carrying genius." - Calvin
"They're gonna use your X-rays in a textbook!"
"Things don't bug you if you don't think about them." - Calvin
"This is a job for.. AACK! WAAUGHHH!! ...someone else." -- Calvin
"THIS PLACE IS JUST _SLOPPING_ OVER WITH PEACE AND QUIET!" -- Daffy
"This serene metropolis lies directly beneath the Hoover Dam..."-Calvin
"This thing makes the coolest noises!" --Cadet Stimpy
"Tigers' tummies are solar cells." "Yeah, right."
"To the inattentive and brainless layman, yes." - Calvin
"Today's special is all the caviar you can eat for $600."
"Tomorrow we seize the day, and throttle it!" - Hobbes
"TRE-MEN-DOUS COSMIC POWER!!!...itsy-bitsy living space!" -The Genie
"Twenty-eight percent of the rain forest is now furniture."
"Two months to select my jury and they found me guilty in 17 seconds."
"Until you stalk and overcome, you can't devour anyone" - Hobbes
"Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin." - Susie Derkins
"Vortex goggles on?  Here we go!" - Calvin
"Want to see a great idea in action?" - Calvin
"We have two sorts of pies: undercooked and overcooked."
"We should take pride in our mediocrity" - Calvin
"We went to Greece for a 2nd honeymoon. Six days and seven fights."
"We'll have to dinner out. The toaster's broken."
"We're here to devour each other alive." - Hobbes
"We're not doing 3500 miles an hour. That's the tachometer."
"We've got to leave in four hours. Here's your lipstick."
"Well YOU were the one playing the cymbals!!" - Hobbes
"Whaddyer mean, 'I burnt the oatmeal'?... That's coffee!"
"What a great couple of guys he is..." --Ren
"What a maroon!" -- Bugs Bunny
"What do you mean 'Where's the car'? This *is* the car."
"What do you mean he'll need a tie to come in? This is my wife!"
"What does 86 years come out with time off for good behavior?"
"What I wouldn't give to be a latchkey kid..." - Calvin
"What if we die and it turns out God is a big CHICKEN?!" - Calvin
"What kind of nut would CARE about all this?!!" - Hobbes
"What's a good wine to take away the taste of this food?"
"What's a peck ?" "A quick smooch" - Calvin and Hobbes
"What's it like to be a tiger ?" "Kinda fuzzy" - Calvin and Hobbes
"What's the big idea sticking stop sign on the back wall of garage?"
"What's the point of human existence?" - Calvin
"WHAT?!!  Is this some SNOBBY, ELITIST, AESTHETIC THING??!!" - Calvin
"Whatcha doin'?" - Hobbes "Counterfeiting money." - Calvin
"Whatever you do, don't exercise."
"When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the PATOOKAS!"
"WHERE ARE ALL MY CARTOON CHARACTER UNDERPANTS??!!" - Calvin
"Where's that damn dragon?" -Kitty Pryde
"While you ponder this analogy, I'm going outside." - Calvin
"Who do we know that we could sue?" - Calvin
"Who needs your stinky club?  I've got my own club!" - Calvin
"Why does everybody say my name like it means `Shut-Up'?"
"Why does the universe always give you the sign AFTER you do it?"-Calvin
"Why that *is* a mouse, and he's beating up on our cheese!" --Mr. Pipe
"Wile E. Coyote, Sooooper Geeeenius!" -- Wile E. Coyote
"Will evil ever rest?  I hope not."  --Powdered Toast Man
"Will you keep the noise down! We're trying to have a party next door!"
"With 85 previous acquittals, my client has a faultless record."
"Wouldn't last five minutes in Tokyo during the monster season."-Yukio
"Yillickers!  It's so beeg!"  --Sven Hoek
"You can stop waving goodbye. I'm staying."
"You can't be half-and-half. You're either guilty or not guilty."
"You could Martinize your shorts!  Spackle the den!" -Ren
"You don't need your teeth. It's soup."
"You gave away ... FORTY-SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS?" -- Ren Hoek to Stimpy
"You have a flame thrower ?" "They lie - I lie" - Calvin and Hobbes
"You mean Blonde Jovi here used to be an X-Man?"
"You moron" "It take one to know one" - Calvin and Susie
"You really need professional help." - Susie Derkins
"You say you were inside robbing bank and someone stole your car?"
"You sick little monkey! Don't you know cartoons will ruin your mind?" --Ren
"You sick little monkey!"  --Ren
"You'n'me, proffesor--we're two of a kind--handsome, dynamic--bald."
"You're a lot uglier than your pictures."
"You're underestimating my comeback potential!" - Dazzler
"You, sir, are an ambisexual walnut." -TV from `Bloom County'
"Your birthday's next week. D'you want a surprise party?"
"Your book ate your homework, hmm? That's a new one." -Mrs. Wormwood
"Your doctor wants to marry me if you don't make it."
*This* is what entertainment is all about - Calvin
<BOOM!> "Trouble!" "How perceptive, Betsy. We noticed!"
A bushel is a unit of weight equal to four pecks - Calvin
A fire! Oh, boy! Oh. In the fireplace - Calvin
A gas mask a smoke grenade and a helicopter that's all I ask - Calvin
A joke, son. It's a JOKE. Don'cha get it? -Foghorn Leghorn
A map to the refridgerator. Hilarious - Calvin
Academia, here I come - Calvin
Actually, there's not much left to explain - Calvin
Ah said, pay attention, boy! - Foghorn Leghorn.
Ah'm thinkin'! . . . And muh head hurts. Yosemite Sam
And yet.. somehow.. life goes on - Calvin' Dad
Another blow to creative integrity - Hobbes
Any Monsters under my bed tonight ? - Calvin
Are we near a slaughterhouse or did you forget your deodorant ? - Susie
At least our televisions understand us - Calvin
Babes, mom. I gotta look cool - Calvin
Balanced diet: four pounds of chocolate with four pounds of cake.
Beat's me. Isn't that weird ? - Calvin
Boy, I look good in anything, don't I ? - Hobbes
Calvin ? Who's Calvin ? I'm *Stupendous Man*! - Calvin
Calvin, you baloney brain - Susie
Can I take an axe to school tomorrow for, um, Show and Tell ? - Calvin
Careful.. We don't want to learn from this - Calvin
Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs - recommended by Calvin.
Cool people wear dark glasses - Calvin
Curiosity is the essence of the scientific mind - Calvin
Dad, your polls took a big dive this week - Calvin
Do you ever think about the end of the world as we know it ? - Calvin
Do you have a dumpster out back I could root through ? - Calvin
Ehhh...What's up, doc? - Bugs Bunny
Either way I'm scared to try it - Calvin
Everybody hates a literalist - Calvin
For a kid with a monosyllabic vocabulary he's awfully persuasive - Calvin
Fortunately I'm the stoic type - Calvin
Fortunately, our motto is "be prepared" - Calvin
From now on my rallying cry is "SO WHAT ?!" - Calvin
Geronimo!! - Calvin
Girls have more delicate heinies - Susie
Go soak your head - Hobbes
Grades ? We're being graded ? - Calvin
Gravity is arbitrary - Calvin
Heck, that's more fun than exploding a potato in the microwave - Calvin
Here I am freezing my buns off at 9 in the morning - Calvin
Here's a list of what I'm wearing. See you at the morgue - Calvin
Hey...there's somthing scewey going on around here.  -E. Fudd
His train of thought is still boarding at the station - Calvin
Hobbes is always a little loopy when he comes out of the dryer - Calvin
Hobbes jumped me, mom. I was fighting for my very survival - Calvin
Hobbes, we're dealing with a pro - Calvin
Houston - we have a negative on that orbit trajectory - Calvin
I believe personal greed justifies everything - Calvin
I blew it again, dear - Calvin's dad
I can't believe it! No sonic boom! Not even a "pop" - Calvin
I don't like the way this conversation is taking - Calvin's dad
I don't like these stories with morals - Calvin
I find that very disturbing - Calvin
I hate all that silence - Calvin
I hate this job - Principle Spittle
I hope you know a good dentist, Susie - Calvin
I hope you're all duly impressed. Thank you very much - Calvin
I just live here - Calvin's dad
I keep my feathers numbered for just such an emergency. -F.Leghorn
I kinda figured teachers slept in coffins all summer - Calvin
I only throw consecrated snowballs - Calvin
I think as long as you suffer for your sins, they don't count - Calvin
I thought we were bored out of our skulls - Hobbes
I try to make everone's day a little more surreal - Calvin
I was hoping it wouldn't be so fuzzy - Calvin
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world - Calvin
I'll set my mertilizer on "deep fat fry" - Spaceman Spiff
I'll take "Outer Planets" for $100 - Calvin
I'm going to inhale this can of pesticide - Calvin
I'm trying to apologize, you dumb noodleloaf - Calvin
I'm trying to blow my shoes off - Calvin
I've decided to grow a beard, mom - Calvin
I've decided to stop caring about things - Calvin
I've got plenty of common sense. I just choose to ignore it - Calvin
I've got the most boring dad in the world - Calvin
Idiocy is the essence of the male mind - Susie
If you can read this you're standing to close.
Is it a right to remain ignorant ? - Hobbes
It will build character - Calvin's dad
It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy.. let's go exploring - Calvin
It's fun to mess with their minds - Calvin
It's like shooting fish in a barrel - Calvin
It's my new favorite, "chocolate frosted sugar bombs" - Calvin
It's shameless the way we flirt - Calvin
It's that moment of dawning comprehension I live for - Hobbes
It's the suspense that gets me. - Bugs Bunny
It's worth a shot - Calvin
Jabba the Hutt meets Rudolf the Reindeer. I dunno, mom - Calvin
Kind of stupid game, isn't it ? - Calvin
LAST GAS FOR 60 MILES (54 miles ahead)
Leave it to girls to take all the fun out of sex discrimination - Calvin
Maybe I can get a point for originality - Calvin
Maybe they'll invent a psychotic computer - Calvin
Mom wanted a girl. I just know it - Calvin
Money! HaHaHa! I'm rich! I can buy off anone! The world is mine - Calvin
My brain is trying to kill me - Calvin
My, what a miserable shot you are - Hobbes
Never annoy a CALVIN, I have a stuffed tiger in my pocket!
Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves - Calvin
Never critize a guy with a razor - Calvin
One more nostalgic part of childhood goes thbppth - Calvin
Ooh, he's going to hate me for this - Hobbes
OOOOOH, I'll keelhaul you for this! - Yosemite Sam
Our butts are just fine - Calvin
Que pasa, Senorita? I am El Fugtivo! - Calvin
Questions I know the answers to I don't need to ask, right ? - Calvin
Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension. - Hobbes
Reality continues to ruin my life - Calvin
Setting his death ray blaster on frappe, our hero sets off looking ...
Shh, this is my favorite deodorant commercial - Calvin
Ski resorts use man-made snow. Hint, hint - Calvin
Snowgoons on the horizon... Hobbes, load the CALVINATOR!
Space Alien weds two-headed Elvis-clone - Hobbes
Susie, I hate you. Drop dead. Calvin - Calvin
The conference rules do NOT resemble Calvin-ball!...
The living dead don't need to solve word problems - Calvin
The world bores you when you're cool - Calvin
The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success - Calvin
The zorg draws nearer. Spiff sets his blaster on "medium well" - Calvin
These discussions never go where they're supposed to - Calvin
They can't paddle me! I'm a girl! - Susie
This calls for supreme retaliation - Calvin
This is so cool I have to go to the bathroom - Calvin
This smells like bat barf - Calvin
Tigers will do anything for a tuna fish sandwich! - Calvin
Too bad the world will be ending soon - Calvin
Trusting parents can be hazardous to your health - Calvin
Uh-Oh, I'm leaking brain lubricant - Calvin
Verbing weirds language - Calvin
We are a fierce and dirty band of cutthroat pirates - Calvin
We were having a weird face contest, but we are all through now - Calvin
We're holding Elvis' brain hostage on planet Zork. Alert Ted Koppel.
Well, it looks like Einstein's a fraud, wouldn't you say ? - Calvin
What a stupid world - Calvin
What fun is it being "cool" if you can't wear a sombrero? - Hobbes
What's the point of trying if you can't be a winner ? - Calvin
When I was four, I think I was toilet trained - Calvin
Where the heck is the manual override ?! - Calvin
Who do we smooch then ? - Hobbes
Whoa! Hey! Are you contagious ? - Calvin
Woof! What did you eat for breakfast ? Cement ? - Calvin
X-Men criteria: Whine a lot and come back from the dead.
Yeah, yeah.. Kill the messenger - Calvin
You are not going to amputate, are you ? *ARE YOU* ? - Calvin
You can never tell if they're listening or not - Calvin
You can present the material, but you can't make me care - Calvin
You know, I don't understand math at all - Calvin